I dream of being rich.
Wait, let me define what being “rich” means.
I want to be happy. I want to have the finer things in life. I want to be rich with the simple joys of life. To have a stable, peaceful, and loving home. To be with the love of my life and allow him to shower me with ethereal, unconditional love. To buy silly things that fill our home with laughter and warmth. To eat scrumptious foods I only eyed because I couldn’t afford it. To buy groceries without worry.
To travel the wonders of the world.
To rise from ashes.
To gain respect.
To utter the words I wanted I died to speak out when I was too weak to speak. Because the poor don’t have a voice lest they are influential and powerful.
To be intelligent.
To create breakthroughs, evolutions, and innovations that alter human life.
To love and be loved to the moon and a thousand times back.
I wanted to win.
For once. I wanted to see myself win for His glory. I want the world to know that I haven’t made it alone, that I was with God. I want to lose. I want to lose so badly that I may gain more as I lose. I want to have power. I want to have the power to bless and feed God’s sheep. I want to be busy as a bee but peaceful as a monk.
To be tired but not restless.
To breathe.
To pause.
To rise from ashes.
For once, I wanted to be seen as victorious. That, in my weakness, I have emerged stronger over a thousand Goliaths. Because all my life, I felt unseen, disregarded, rejected, I was the least option or even none of the options.
Though I wanted applause and all worldly pleasure, I learned to accept this truth: that true happiness is found in acceptance. One must accept that life is cruel.
It is ugly.
It is evil.
It is unforgiving.
Then, it is suddenly bright, euphoric, and yellow.
Life is a loop.
A constant series of relentless events that shapes human nature.
Not everyone will love me. But those who do, those who care, and value me, their worth is more precious than gold, compared to a trillion worthless cents. I discovered I was settling for bronze when God wanted me to have rare diamonds. I searched and searched for happiness.
For love.
For affection.
For joy.
When it was all right in front of me, waiting to be opened.
Maybe the world lacked so much decency that it lived in perfection, in aesthetics, on what pleases the eye, on what warms the heart. Because in the heart of a mere human, acceptance was a hard rock to swallow, and it was easier to chew a marshmallow.
The only significance of a human being is this: to dare to live fearlessly, courageously, and humbly.
Sing. Even when your voice cracks up.
Dance. Even when you look dumb.
Walk. Even if your legs ache.
Run. Even if your lungs run out of air.
Write. Even if sometimes words fail to speak.
Love. Even if it breaks you–especially when it breaks you.
Forgive. Even if they repeat the same mistake.
Live. Even if it means dying for someone.
Don’t wait for the day you’re on your death bed saying
”I could’ve done better”
You could do better.
You could live better.
